Let’s eavesdrop on part of a touching conversation between a youngster and his old, wise mentor and consider what it is to be real.
“What is REAL?” the Velveteen Rabbit asked the Skin Horse one day. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”
“Real isn’t about how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you…
It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” (Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit).
How do the words of the Skin Horse resonate with your interpretation of being real, of how you want to be seen by the world?
I sense that the picture Skin Horse paints for his young friend stands in stark contrast to what is often valued, sought after and held tightly to today. In his description, gone are the whistles and bells and the performance; gone is youth, physical perfection and the polished appearance. The facade has been stripped away; there is no bright paint or glitter or party tricks to hide behind. What is left is the authentic self, what is left is Real.
Does that make you feel uncomfortable? A little vulnerable? We are, after all, the chasers of youth and beauty; desperate to halt the tide of grey hairs, wrinkles, age spots and saggy bits. Sadly, it doesn’t stop with our physical appearance; it goes deeper, much deeper. We hide our inner selves away as well, only daring to show to others what we perceive to be safe or acceptable.
Why do we hide? Why are we so afraid?
How do we throw off the shoulds, the supposed tos and the expectations and allow our Real to break through? What will help us untie the corset of comparison and let our authenticity breath? How old do we need to be before we can give birth to ourselves?
The Skin Horse is quite brutal with the reality – no hair, no eyes, falling apart and shabby. And yet, consider again the beautiful promise he offers the Velveteen Rabbit; “these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly”.
It may be a perilous process. The Skin Horse admitted that it can hurt. The Velveteen Rabbit experienced ridicule, rejection, loneliness and pain on his path to becoming real. When he arrived, however, he found freedom.
Real equals beauty. Dare we believe it?
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