How hard is it for you to stop?
If you are able to stop, how long before you feel that sense of agitation inside, the nagging voice reminding you of all the things that need to be done?
You are experiencing the power of the busyness curse.
Consider for a moment – our culture prides itself on busyness. We exist in an atmosphere that is heavy with the pressure to be perpetually ‘doing’. Dare I go so far as to say there is a competitive edge to it; who is the busiest, who has the most to do, who has the most stressful life? We complain about our lack of time whilst proudly wearing our badge of “I’m so busy” on our chest.
Of course, the reality is that we do juggle a lot of balls on a daily basis and doing life that way long term IS stressful and tiring. The digital age also serves to ramp up the pressure; we are contactable at any moment of the day. The work/home boundary lines become increasingly blurry and hard to define, as do the self/other boundary lines.
I have a suspicion though that it’s not all about our responsibilities. Whether our to do list has 100 items on it or two, there is a sneaky layer of expectation sitting within many of us that we should be busy. If we’re not, our internal voices have a field day poking us with accusations; “You’re lazy… boring… don’t have enough drive… don’t have enough friends… don’t have a life…” We feel guilty, afraid someone might walk in and find us committing the ultimate sin of doing nothing. The busyness curse has us caught in its spell, we cannot rest.
Unfortunately, the busyness curse doesn’t only affect us. Through our example, we pass these messages onto our children, laying the foundation for lives of frantic striving and achievement. School, then homework, sport, tutoring, dance lessons, music lessons… an endless stream of extracurricular activities that keep them going from morning till night. These activities aren’t bad in themselves, but it’s crucial to hold it all in balance. Do our kids have downtime? Are they experiencing unstructured time in which to do whatever they want, even if that happens to be absolutely nothing? Do they know what it is to be bored?
Yes, we have responsibilities in life that we can’t avoid; work has to be done, bills need to be paid, people need to be cared for. We do, however, also have a responsibility to care for and nurture ourselves and to model that to our kids. Examine your busyness – what is necessary and what is negotiable? How is the voice of the busyness curse driving your decisions? You don’t have to stay running on the mouse wheel until you are exhausted, cranky and resentful. You can choose to get off, even for the briefest time, and experience what it feels like to stand still. Dare to break the busyness curse, your body will thank you for it.
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